Jim Jamesson

Alright by request here’s the practice run one of these days will be the real one and Brinegar Cabin on the Parkway up near Sparta is probably gonna be the best place. Now just need to find someone to drag out there with…

Practicing Civil War getup

Practicing Civil War getup

Well, looks like this praying shit really does work. Supposedly, the ‘Jim’s an Asshole‘ Craigslist post was indeed for me. That made me so happy to think that at least one person takes me serious enough to get angry over something I said. Usually, nobody gives much of a shit, maybe humors me by giving me a chuckle, and moves on. Just knowing that I’ve disturbed someone that much is quite a pleasant feeling. Read more »

Kind of a ho hum day here in Jim land. Last night I deviated from my streak of consecutive days with fast food for dinner (not that bad, still had a Whopper JR for lunch, but that was for the sake of helping out my Burger King buddy). Anyways, all day long I have just felt weird, as if, our delicious home-cooked meal has altered my core being chemically. It’s like I accidently used diesel or some shit.

Well, real men know, the the absolute best thing to turn a good day around is to drink a lot of beer. Beer is the only short term solution that will help you figure out what the long term fix actually is. I think it’s time for an experiment. We have a cold, brand new and shiny case of Coors Light in the fridge. It would be really cool to drink them all, and monitor the oncoming short and long-term solutions to my crappy day. This should be fun… Read more »

Ok the Kenny Rogers freight train rolls on. What I need to find is someone that knows Dolly Parton. Or maybe just Dolly Parton’s people. This is a shot I would love to have before I die. If anyone has a Dolly connection, it would be beneficial to me.

Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton soon to be Jim and Dolly Parton

Goals, as we already talked about are a damn wonderful thing. Goals give you something to look forward to, challenge yourself with, and give you that rush of happiness when it’s mission accomplished.

The end result of a goal though is overwhelmingly the focal point of the goal to begin with. Too often, the ’sleeper perks’ along the way tend not to get noticed. With the Kenny Rogers goal for instance, I am learning that their are many ’surprise-nuance-perks’ for lack of another way to say it.

For example, one of the baddest ass things about having dark hair, being almost 30 and trying to look like a 50 year old white haired Kenny Rogers, is that you get to look like Randy Owen along the way.

The Randy Owen montage.

I think Alabama kicks ass. However when I ate at their restaurant in Gatlinburg or wheverever, it kind of sucked. The food reminded me of elementary school nast. But the memoriabilia wasted any Applebees, Chochkies or Flingers.

Alright. I just got word from Guadalupe, one of the top hairstylists in the country (actually he really is!) that they can hook me up with some seriously silverly Kenny Rogers hairstyle. This is most excellent kickass news. Soon as the time comes, Studio Chivarria here we come.

Screw it, only a loser would not have his own Kenny Rogers album cover. I am well on my way now.

Kenny Rogers 21 Number Ones

Jim Jamessons 22 Number Twos

Everyone needs them some goals. If you don’t have goals, you have nothing to strive for, and that’s plum shitty. A few weeks back I decided to quit fuckin shaving because it’s stupid. Now that I reached that goal though, I’m left a little empty. If only I could have bumped it up a notch from the beginning. But really, it’s my goal I can change it when I need to right? So here is my new goal:

Kenny Rogers in Kenny Rogers Pictures as Kenny Rogers by Kenny Rogers.

NEW GOAL

My new goal is to get these two exact same pictures. I am gonna need some help though. I don’t know anyone with a horse, so if someone has a horse, and would let me sit on it for a couple minutes, that would be really helpful.

Also, I don’t own a gold chain. I don’t know if you can buy them at grocery stores for a quarter anymore or not. If someone has a gold chain that is hot like Kenny’s, and will let me wear it for a few minutes while I’m sitting on a horse, that would be dynamite.

I seem to be lacking some in the wardrobe as well. Seems I lost my, whatever kind of jacket, this is. Yeah so, if someone has uh, one of those, and wouldn’t mind me rolling up those sleeves and posing on a, looks like the bottom of a really thick bird bath or something, that would be out of sight.

So, you can see just how easy it is to create, edit, and enhance your own goals. Give it a try! You, too, can have a goal of your own!

UPDATE: In my exhausting Kenny Rogers research I JUST NOW stumbled across this bad ass website for dudes that want to look like Kenny Rogers. Ahh… the ever-changing goal…

Ok shaving blows. Men were designed to have beards. Thats why we have them. Otherwise you would think evolution and all that jazz we wouldn’t have them, especially with the amount of pansies out there. Here’s two really kick ass quotes I just found:

“A woman with a beard looks like a man. A man without a beard looks like a woman.” – Afghan Saying

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one.” -Greek saying

That kind of logic is all I need to convince myself to stop shaving. It’s unethical. Women should continue to shave as normal of course. Chuck Norris has a beard, nobody ever gives him shit.