Jim Jamesson

Alright. I have probably wasted six million hours watching old people type out the double-you-double-you double-you-dot-oh-shit-that’s-a-comma-backspace-backspace-backspace-backspace-double-you-double-you-double-you-dot…. fucking shit!!! So, to help combat youngsters the world over from suffering thru shit like this, I’ve decided to put together the long-needed Geezer’s Ultimate Guide to Learning Real-world, No-shit Useful Internet Techniques. Hopefully, some of you will find your glasses and learn how to quit being duped into spammers and useless anti-virus subscriptions and all kinds of other web horsestool. Every week I will write very insightful dribble that will teach you the ins, outs and sideways of the www.

This week, we’re gonna start with some basic chat room shit. Some of you will somehow be forced into chatting with some lame ass grandchild or techno-fag transgendered cousin or some other real group leader. Before we get into the beef of chatting online and learning some internet slang, let’s first understand what the fuck exactly the word ‘chat’ encompasses. You q-tip dweebs out there like to tell your friend Bozana that “you got it from an online chatroom” or some other lame nonsense like that. There are 4 major, distinct forms of ‘chatting’ on the web. (Well, at least 4 that are within the realm of your comprehension at this point. Maybe we’ll talk about them some other day.) Read more »