Jim Jamesson

Man do I hope this global warming shit is real. Right now its fucking cold outside. I went to take a piss and instead of my usual piss it was a cold hard solid block of ice that looked like a section of fucking fiber optic cable. And I only live in NC… I try to imagine these fuckers living further up north, and I just… I’m just fucking speechless.

Nothing sucks more than the cold. You see, I’m a Floridiot by birth and native Floridiots are flat-out not built for cold weather. Personally, I have a 50º limit. Anything above 50º my joints still function and my jaw allows me to speak. Below 50º it all goes to fuck. When it’s this cold out, I spend my waking day engulphed in this huge fucking sheepskin eskimo jacket that offers me warmth, but at the expense of extreme ridicule. What the fuck. Read more »