Jim Jamesson

Here’s what I think Kenny Rogers intended this song to say, the night he wrote it in some skank ass motel with some homegirl hooker. Damn, Kenny Rogers rules all of the world and he even kicks so much more’r ass that he’ll probably be ruling the moon too before it’s all said and done and shit. Read more »

Ok the Kenny Rogers freight train rolls on. What I need to find is someone that knows Dolly Parton. Or maybe just Dolly Parton’s people. This is a shot I would love to have before I die. If anyone has a Dolly connection, it would be beneficial to me.

Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton soon to be Jim and Dolly Parton

Long damn hair is really getting annoying. I don’t know how Kenny Rogers does it.

Goals, as we already talked about are a damn wonderful thing. Goals give you something to look forward to, challenge yourself with, and give you that rush of happiness when it’s mission accomplished.

The end result of a goal though is overwhelmingly the focal point of the goal to begin with. Too often, the ’sleeper perks’ along the way tend not to get noticed. With the Kenny Rogers goal for instance, I am learning that their are many ’surprise-nuance-perks’ for lack of another way to say it.

For example, one of the baddest ass things about having dark hair, being almost 30 and trying to look like a 50 year old white haired Kenny Rogers, is that you get to look like Randy Owen along the way.

The Randy Owen montage.

I think Alabama kicks ass. However when I ate at their restaurant in Gatlinburg or wheverever, it kind of sucked. The food reminded me of elementary school nast. But the memoriabilia wasted any Applebees, Chochkies or Flingers.

Alright. I just got word from Guadalupe, one of the top hairstylists in the country (actually he really is!) that they can hook me up with some seriously silverly Kenny Rogers hairstyle. This is most excellent kickass news. Soon as the time comes, Studio Chivarria here we come.

Everyone needs them some goals. If you don’t have goals, you have nothing to strive for, and that’s plum shitty. A few weeks back I decided to quit fuckin shaving because it’s stupid. Now that I reached that goal though, I’m left a little empty. If only I could have bumped it up a notch from the beginning. But really, it’s my goal I can change it when I need to right? So here is my new goal:

Kenny Rogers in Kenny Rogers Pictures as Kenny Rogers by Kenny Rogers.

NEW GOAL

My new goal is to get these two exact same pictures. I am gonna need some help though. I don’t know anyone with a horse, so if someone has a horse, and would let me sit on it for a couple minutes, that would be really helpful.

Also, I don’t own a gold chain. I don’t know if you can buy them at grocery stores for a quarter anymore or not. If someone has a gold chain that is hot like Kenny’s, and will let me wear it for a few minutes while I’m sitting on a horse, that would be dynamite.

I seem to be lacking some in the wardrobe as well. Seems I lost my, whatever kind of jacket, this is. Yeah so, if someone has uh, one of those, and wouldn’t mind me rolling up those sleeves and posing on a, looks like the bottom of a really thick bird bath or something, that would be out of sight.

So, you can see just how easy it is to create, edit, and enhance your own goals. Give it a try! You, too, can have a goal of your own!

UPDATE: In my exhausting Kenny Rogers research I JUST NOW stumbled across this bad ass website for dudes that want to look like Kenny Rogers. Ahh… the ever-changing goal…