Jim Jamesson

This is the extent of my criminal activity on this planet. Tonight was my very own personal oceans 15 and shit. So, we all know that a large unsweet tea at Burger King costs 99 cents. Tonight, I asked for “a whole bunch of Splenda” and was handed 28 packets by the nice lady.

I thought hell yes, and stomped the gas pedal.

So, after thoroughly enjoying my Burger King, I immediately began researching. A quick search for Splenda packets led me to a website selling 100 packet Splenda for $10.42, as depicted in this screen grab. The red arrows should highlight precisely where the price is located:

The above red arrows depict this price I found on a simple Google search for Splenda packets.

So, –ok like, 5 hours has gone by since above so I’m not sure where I was going with this. Well, lets just run the math to see how much one packet of Splenda costs in the real world:

$10.42 / (divided by) 100 packets = $.1042 per packet.

Now, that rounds down to ten cents each, a really solid, good happy damn round number. Now, with that math in mind, we can compute how much value in Splenda I received tonight:

$.10 per packet X (multiplied by) 28 packets = $2.80.

Wow. That’s damn near three times more than the value of the drink. That is fucking mafia quality highway robbery right there. Yeah I am bad.

Steve suggested that we take this a bit further though, and that these findings are really lame and infantile, and I am more of a loser now than ever before. So he says that if I want to be cool, I  would keep a running tab on my surplus/deficit of Splenda, and run a study of the value over a long time period. Now this, this fucking sounds cool.

This is going to require some planning. I will need to come up with a way to solidly monitor my stock levels of Splenda. While we’re on it, we should probably add other sauces too, and see how much dough we can really save. This will probably require a brand new post and maybe it’s own page. Hmmm. Let the Fast Food Olympic Games begin.

Oh, if you are a fast food exec, please, this is all staged. If you are real, then use your judgment based on my concrete factual evidence. Hell yeah that’ll cover my ass.